I'm a fetish?!

A few weeks ago I was out at a little coffee shop I frequent. There was this guy there, another regular, and he started talking to me. He had asked me out sometime last year right after I was separated and I told him no, I was married. Because in my mind I still was. Let's call him P. So a few weeks ago he asked me why he never saw my husband with me. I told him I am not married anymore. He asked me for my number and I thought, why not? So I gave it to him. As I was leaving he asked my why the last time he asked me out I said I was married. I looked at  him like he was simple and said: Because I was married.

He gave me his number too but I threw it out because I knew that I would never call him. If someone wants to go out with me then he can call me. I'm not chasing anyone. I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't want to be with me. But that's a conversation for a different time.

Tonight P called. I saw it was him on call display, wasn't going to answer, but then I thought, what the hell? So I answered. We chatted a bit about his work, he runs his own company doing seasonal work. I told him about playing in the park with my kids.

Then his voice got all... not intimate... more sexy but not in the good way, and he told me that he loves women who are plump and round and that I'm his fetish. He said that he really wants to take me out and feed me a meal. That I'm like a cute teddy bear. And that he wants to take me out for chicken wings. Seriously?! Chicken Wings?! It was a first phone call out of a bad sitcom. He basically told me that he likes that I'm fat and that he wants to watch me get fatter eating chicken wings. I'm not sure what dating book he's reading but it really should be taken off the market.

Let's talk about this. I am fat. Some people say: Oh, don't talk negatively about yourself. But I'm not. I'm just speaking the truth. I'm fat. It's not an insult, it's an adjective describing my body. I've always been fat and my weight has been an issue for as long as I can remember. But I've reached a point in my life where I just don't care anymore. I don't diet, I don't freak out about what I do or don't eat, I don't keep food journals or obsess about what I ate or what I should or shouldn't eat next. I eat reasonably healthfully. I don't exercise enough but I don't spend my days on the couch doing nothing. I make sure I have clothes that fit me, feel good and are flattering. And I don't read magazines or watch tv advertising. Yes, I am fat, but that is not my defining characteristic. There's a whole lot more to me.

 I guess what I'm saying is that if someone is interested in me and wants to get to know me for who I am and also happens to be attracted to my body type, then that's awesome. But if someone just wants to be with me so he can fatten me up even more because that turns him on... Well, that turns me off.