A has been asking for a fish for Chanukah. That's all she's been talking about, fish this and fish that. So I decided to get her a fish but to give it to her on the last night of Chanukah, which was a week ago, Wednesday the 8th.
That same day I got up in the morning and had nothing to wear that made me feel good about myself. I realized that had been happening a lot and I thought back to that post I wrote about my being fine with the fact that I'm fat because I make sure I have nice things to wear that fit properly so I can feel good about myself. And I didn't have those things and was not feeling good about myself so I decided to go shopping. I took the day off work so I could clothes shop for myself and then buy fish for the kids and get everything home and set up before I picked the kids up.
I know this is going to be hard to believe, but things did not go exactly as planned... I went clothes shopping and essentially bought the basics of a new wardrobe. Two pairs of dressy (and comfy) pants and seven shirts. All things that make me look and feel good and are nice enough to wear to work.
I needed to pick up a few random things and wanted to get a fish bowl (because back in the day when I was a kid, we kept goldfish in a fishbowl in plain old tapwater. Apparently it doesn't work like that anymore...) so I went to the devil store (WalMart). I usually try to shop Zellers because it's Canadian but the devil store was closer and much bigger so it was there I went. I picked up the odds and ends I was looking for and then found the pet section. It's really not a pet section as they don't sell any pets there, rather it is a pet paraphernalia section and I figured that I could get the basics there and then head to a pet store to get the actual fish.
Have you looked at buying fish lately? Yes, there are still fishbowls but there are so many other things. And there were all kinds of water conditioner that each worked best for different kinds of fish because they can't live in tapwater. And different kinds of food for each kind of fish. And even special tanks/bowls/containers for different kinds of fish. The last time I had fish was at least 30 years ago. I guess our tap water was more 'natural' then, because our fish lived just fine in it. We cleaned the bowl about once a week and all was well. I say that loosely because once when my brother, M, was cleaning the fishbowl, he filled a jar of water to put the fish in while he cleaned the bowl. He realized the water in the jar was too hot so he dumped it out and put in cooler water. He then put the fish in, the fish swam into the side of the jar and died as soon as he touched the hot glass... We also had guppies (where have all the guppies gone?) that sometimes jumped out of the jar and went down the drain. Hmmmmm, since then I have seen Finding Nemo and I wonder now if they were following the adage: All drains lead to the ocean. Not these drains, fishies!
Anyway, I was so confused so instead of buying any of the fish stuff there I went to Petland. I figured they could set me up with something pretty basic. Was I ever surprised when the only goldfish they had were 'feeder fish' and they said they wouldn't be good pets. What?! Fish are never good pets.Except Mexican Walking Fish. Looking back, I can't believe I listened to them. But listen to them I did which is why about 20 minutes later I walked out with $60 worth of fish and equipment. Of course I had to buy two fish because if A had one then Z needed one. That was one fight not worth having. And I bought betta fish - you know, the ones that have to live in separate tanks or they will kill each other? Not so unlike kids...
I do have to add that the pet store really freaked me out. I like animals well enough. And I like fish. I have snorkeled and let them nibble on me and had no problem with it. But all of those fish in all of those tanks... and these betta fish each in it's own little bowl ... I was so disgusted by all of it that I couldn't even pick the fish out. I just had the girl pick them for me, looking at them made me queasy and uneasy. For some reason the whole ordeal completely disgusted me.
It was about -10 Celcius that day. At the store they told me that I could only keep the fish in the bags for about an hour and that they could not be in the car without the car running and warm for more than a few minutes. I still had to pick up Z at daycare and A at my Mom's. So I drove to get Z, rushed him into the car and got stuck in traffic getting to A. My hour was dwindling quickly. I knew that I could not leave the fish in the car for more than a few minutes because they would freeze, so I called ahead and A was ready for me when I got to my Mom's so we didn't have to go in. Because we would have been way longer than a few minutes.
We got home, I had about 5 minutes left of my hour so I knew I had to hustle. I got the kids out of the car, got all the bags out of the back (all the clothes, odds and ends, fish, and fish tanks, A's backpack and my purse and computer bag) and managed to get everything and both kids to the apartment without any major catastrophes. Until I opened the door. To a flood.
A flood!!!! I don't know if I mentioned it but I had a fire about 8 months ago. And with the karma I've had lately I guess I should have expected a flood, really. The kitchen floor had inches of water on it and it all came up through the sink drain. I kept the kids in the hall and called my super from my cell. He came in, said Holy Shit, called a plumber. Meanwhile, I had these fish that were going to die any second if I didn't get them in water. And inasmuch as I wanted to just throw them on the kitchen floor and let them swim around there, I held back.
Did I mention that the fish were a surprise? So I got the kids in front of the tv with instructions to not get off the couch No Matter What. Went to my bathroom where there is thankfully lots of counter space, and started reading the instructions for these betta tanks. (They call them tanks but they are really just plastic containers with air holes) I had to put the decorative rocks in the tank, suction the tree down (although I didn't read that part so I put the rocks and water in first and then sort of buried the suction cup thing under the rocks. One of the trees is floating around) then I had to get the right temperature water in the tanks. The girl (she was very young so I can call her a , right? Or am I getting old?) told me that the water should be a bit cooler than room temperature. The instructions told me it should be lukewarm. I settled for room temp. I put opened up the tops of the fishbags and put each bag into a tank to acclimatize the water so the poor fish wouldn't be shocked by a water temp change.
This sounds like it may have not taken very long. But please remember that while I was doing it I had to keep the kids from going into the kitchen, discovered that the carpet was soaked through in some places, answer questions the plumber asked and get my head around the fact that my place was flooded. So - I finally get the fish in the water, they are still alive, and I bring the kids in. A took one look at her fish (which is purple and blue and very pretty) and said, in a disgusted and horrified voice: I don't want a fish anymore, Mommy.
Now, I admit that I swear in front of my kids, but I do not swear at them. I heard her say it, looked at her and growled: Are you fucking kidding me? I was So Angry. But I had no time to really dwell on it because at that point the carpet guy was there and I had to figure out where we were going to sleep that night since it couldn't be at home. The plumber had no idea how long things were going to take and the noise from the plumber's shop vac was scaring the kids. So I called my Mom, packed a bag, and took the kids to her house.
The long and short of it is that we were out of the house for two nights which sucked but really, it could have been so much worse. None of us got sick from breathing in the fumes from gray water, nothing got destroyed that was irreplaceable.
A likes her fish now. She named it Goldie. Z originally named his Chocolate Chip, which I think is a fabulous name for a fish, but changed it to Goldie when he heard A's name. Z and I have discussed it quite explicitly and he knows that he is not allowed to touch, play with, or eat his fish. He can show it things, talk to it and sing to it, which he does. He really enjoys showing his fish playing cards. So he plays cards with his fish while A and I play fish with some cards...
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