So many questions

I am finding that I have very little tolerance for people who are not self-aware. I'm not saying I'm the most enlightened person around, but I think in the scheme of things I see myself pretty clearly. Lately I have noticed a couple of people specifically who I don't even want to talk to because they are so delusional about themselves. And it irritates the hell out of me. I realize that the only ways to not be irritated by it are:

1. Be more tolerant and evolved (which I'm not)
2. Don't spend time with them (which I've been pretty successful at)
3. ... I have no idea...

One of them has told me that he thinks he is a king, that he is smarter, more important, more interesting, more enlightened than almost everyone he's ever met. Yet he is in a relationship where his partner treats him like a second class citizen and he is so happy for every tiny little bone that gets thrown his way. Something doesn't add up there is all I'm saying.

Things on this end have been very emotional and busy. I was subpoenaed the other night. Interesting experience. I knew I would have to testify at a trial, but for some reason I didn't expect the subpoena. And to have a detective knocking on my door to deliver it was something new for me. Not a terrible experience, just not something I ever thought would happen to me. But the last year and a half has pretty much fallen into that category...

I have had some huge decisions to make. And lots of them impact other people. Where do I send A to kindergarten? Is public school as good as private school? Should I move to a different neighborhood to be in a certain school's catchment? Should I start Z in a nursery program? Would he be ok in a less structured program for another year? I mean, he's only going to be 3, he has lots of years of structured school ahead of him. Do I allow x's parents to take the kids to a different city for a few days? Do I trust them? How much am I willing to give up in the separation agreement? What is really worth fighting over? Don't I just want it to be over already? (Yes!) Do I trust myself enough to follow my dreams even though it's not a straight path and I could fail dismally? So many questions and really I'm the only one who can answer them.

I need more information and I am getting it. Some online research, some soul searching, some question asking. For some I have to look as far ahead as I can to see where different paths could potentially lead me. I have to say though, that in my experience there is absolutely No Way to see where a path can lead. My last year and a half is testament to that. So I'm doing the best I can, trying to peek around corners to see what may be lurking. Unfortunately most of the corners are completely blind but apparently that's the way the cookie crumbles. (Mmmmmmm... cookies)

So that's where I'm at: thinking, researching, and making decisions. We'll see where it takes me.